CRUSH VS. FRIENDS
You love your friends, and you adore your crush. So how come getting them together often leads to disaster? Myjellybean.com helps you deal with the dilemmas that can happen when friends and guys clash.
Your Friends Think He's A Loser
If your BFFs say bad stuff about your boyfriend, they might know something negative about him that you don't. Ask yourself, "Is he nice to other kids, to me, to teachers?" If you can honestly say he's a doll, figure out if your friends might be jealous, or are being snobby about the group he hangs with.
If you think your friends are genuinely worried about you, ask them what their concern is and listen with an open mind. But if you're sure they have a mistaken impression of him, or are just being cliquey, tell them nicely that it bothers you when they insult him. Ask them to keep their comments to themselves, at least when you're around, and you'll all get along better.
What if they're just jealous? Try to put yourself in their shoes. Either they want more of your time, or they crave a guy to call their own. Set them up with your guy's friends, invite them over sometimes when you're seeing your boyfriend, and be sure to make time for just-the-girls hangouts.
Your Guy Won't Hang With Your Friends
Sometimes a guy can get jealous of the time a girl gives to her friends. Or maybe he's shy, or intimidated by your posse. Whatever the deal is, let your sweetie know your friends are important to you, and he needs to get comfortable with them. Point out why they're great, and ask him to hang out with them more. If he thinks they don't like him, tell him they do - and ask them to be on their best behavior.
If your guy only wants to see you alone, or keeps running down your friends, that could be a trouble sign of a controlling nature. Tell him to have more respect for your girlfriends, or you might have to let him go. He doesn't have to love your buds as much as you do, but he does have to treat them nicely, and let you spend time with them.
Your Guy Flirts With Your Friends
If your guy is a total flirt with your girlfriends, it could be innocent - or not. Some guys flirt to get attention - from your friends, and from you when you get jealous. If he's all talk and no action, you might want to ignore this minor personality defect, as long as you trust him not to act on his flirting. If it really bothers you though, tell him sweetly that you like feeling special to him, and it bugs you when he jokes around with your friends.
What if his flirting seems not-so-innocent? Tell him you're uncomfortable with his flirting, because it seems like he likes a lot more girls than just you. If your guy does something fishy, like call one of your friends behind your back or cheat on you, it's time to move on.
Your Friend Flirts With Your Crush
This happens more than it should. Sometimes a girl doesn't realize how obvious she's being when she flirts with a friend's guy. Other girls do it to boost their self-esteem. This type feels unworthy deep down, so she put the moves on everyone. If it's bugging you, speak up to your friend, Say something like, "I might be totally off base, but you're always hugging my crush and that makes me feel bad." Tell her that she gets enough attention from guys, so maybe she could pick one who's not your crush to flirt with. Or offer to set her up with one of your guy's friends, if she's looking for a boyfriend. If she keeps it up after you've confronted her, you might have to give this friend the cold shoulder for a while, so she gets the message that her behavior doesn't work in your friendship.
More Friends and Family Articles:
Are Your Boyfriend and BFF Too Close?