DEALING WITH A NASTY GIRL

Dear Jellybean,

Last year I started at a new middle school and I made some friends that didn’t sit well with the “popular” people. There is this girl who everyone seems to worship the ground she walks on, and she seemed to have something against three of my very close friends, so… she took it out on me. She started rumors saying that I was a “lesbian” just because I am very close with my friends, and it really hurt when I found out. I have never even said more than two words to this girl!

Anyway, this is my dilemma, I am afraid that next year I will be in some of her classes and I need tips to dealing with her gracefully. Thanks so much!

Love,
Hardy Har Har

Dear Hardy Har Har,

Here's my advice for you:

Set the tone for how things are going to be this year, by being totally classy about the situation. When you first see that girl this year, give her a big smile and say, "Hi, how was your summer?" Maybe she grew up over the summer and will just be nice back. Since that's not the likeliest thing though, here's how to deal if she's still an idiot. If she ignores you, whatever - you tried to be nice. Now you know not to try again. If she makes any nasty remark, you could do a few things. You could laugh and say, "Well I tried!" and walk away shaking your head. This is a very confident move, and shows you're trying to handle her, because she's the problem. Or, you could say something like, "You're so sad." Whatever is comfortable for you. Try to think of it like she's a misbehaving child (in a way, she is!) and you're the more mature one who's trying to manage her behavior.

If all goes well, this girl will either end up leaving you alone, or end up being friendlier to you. It's possible that she has forgotten all about whatever happened last year, and doesn't care about keeping the tension going. However, there is a chance she will still try to make you miserable with her catty comments. So here's the thing...

If she starts up those "lesbian" rumors again, or makes any remark to you about it, you have to confront her or she'll never stop. Walk right up to her when there are lots of people around, look her in the eyes, and say something like, "You seem to be obsessed with lesbians! Hmmm, I wonder why? Maybe you should get some therapy about that, and stop taking out your psychological problems on me!" Turn it back on her. Be confident and show her you're smarter and better than her, and you won't take her crap. She'll be embarrassed, and she'll see that you're not a doormat who will lie there and let her walk all over you.

I hope you don't have to use this advice - I hope things will be perfect and easy when you get to school. But if you have to blast her, do so if that's what it takes!