TEASED BY GANG OF GUYS

Dear Jellybean,

I am teased and played with like a puppet. I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore and I want to know what I can do to make it stop.

When I was a kid I was the youngest in my family so everyone would bully me. When I started primary I was safe but I met this girl who had some genetic brain disease that made her have the intelligence of a 7 year old even when she was 17 and she was in our class. When people started picking on her I got so mad, even at that age, and I stood up for her and became her friend, which made ME the center of picking when she left school in the 6th grade. It hasn’t stopped much since. Then when I was in the 8th grade bullying got me to such a high level of insecurity and self-hate that it led me into a strong depression that was terribly hard and painful to overcome.

I’m now 16 years old, I’m happy, a great student, I have lots of friends and most importantly a boyfriend who loves me for who I am. Even though I’m still teased, my new self-confidence helps me get through and laugh with people. Most of the times. But there are other guys... I could call it a gang. They have never stopped bullying me and I just CAN’T make it stop. I’ve tried to show them that I’m different; I am very nice to them at all times. They just won’t let me breathe. And their insults go so far sometimes that they can make me cry for hours non-stop.

Last Friday I went to a sweet sixteen party: I had the dress, the make up and the hair: I looked amazing. Had been preparing for hours. But that night when my bf wasn't looking they bullied me; they would say "dance with me" and when I refused they’d grab me and not let me go. They’d make circles around me and not let me walk away. When my bf came they would act like nothing was going on. I tried to stay positive as I was specially confident that night… they threw bubble gum at my hair. I yelled and screamed at the guy who did it and they all laughed in my face. I didn’t even know most of the guys there that night. I run to the toilet and cried for like half an hour. Would have gone home and cried all night if it had been for me.

My point is.. I’m used to bullying, somehow I am an easy target, have always been. (Why is that??) But it’s hurting my boyfriend to see me suffer this way. He thinks it's his fault somehow. I think we're far too old for this. I SERIOUSLY NEED IT TO STOP!! BUT HOW?????

Please answer soon!
Caroline

Dear Caroline,

This is serious - maybe even more serious than you realize. You are the subject of a continued campaign of harrassment, by a gang of boys who won't stop at physical intimidation (like surrounding you and not letting you go). Being nice to them isn't working, and neither is ignoring them. They continue to treat you badly.

My fear for you is, if these boys are allowed to keep harrassing you unchecked, they will get bolder and their behavior could become worse, even violent. The fact that it's a bunch of guys, ganging up on a lone girl, just makes this seem even more threatening. I strongly urge you to report what's happening to your parents, to your school principal, and to any other responsible adult who will listen to you.

You do NOT have to live with this. It is NOT your fault - or about being an "easy target". It's about a gang of conscience-less bullies who have learned that they can gang up on a girl, and nobody will step in to do anything about it. It's time to make them learn a new lesson, by making the adults around you take responsibility for stopping these boys, before things get worse. You deserve better, and they deserve punishment. Speak up, keep speaking up, and don't stop until the adults take you seriously and help to make this problem stop, once and for all.