MEAN GIRL MAKES FUN OF HER

Dear Jellybean,

I'm in 8th grade, and there is a girl at My Middle school, and she makes fun of me for all sorts of reasons.

1. I own a pet rat that died recently , so she calls me rat girl, and says Shut up about your stupid rat dying! and other stuff like that.

2. There was a rumor that I was bisexual last year, So at lunch a few days ago, ahe said loudly so everyone can hear, Hey Payton, werent you gay last year? And embarrased me in front of all my friends and now they don't hang out with me anymore.

3. I have friend that is a guy so when she sees us hanging out she says Is this the sad excuse you call a friend?

Please help, When I tell an adult they say Just ignore her and I do. But she just doesn't quit! She keeps on going on and on and on!
Helpless

Dear Helpless,

Wow, this girl sounds like a piece of work. I'm sorry you have to put up with such a meanie. Anyone who would make fun of someone whose pet just died (rat or otherwise), and humiliate you in front of your friends, is a class-A jerk.

My suggestion to you is, you must NOT ignore this girl for one more minute. You have to do the opposite, and start standing up for yourself. This girl obviously feels like she can say anything to you, and you'll just take it - because that's what you've been doing so far. So to get things to change, you are going to have to show her that if she's going to talk to you so disrespectfully, she's going to have to expect some backtalk in return.

The next time this nasty girl makes fun of you, square your shoulders, look her right in the eyes, and speak up! Some teasers think that putting other kids down makes them look cool in front of their crowd. Make this girl look like a fool by laughing BACK at her, and making it obvious she hasn't gotten under your skin. Being ridiculed is not what she expects from you, and it could embarrass her into shutting up.

For instance, next time she says something mean to you, you could say, "Why are you so obsessed with me? Do you stay up late all night thinking up those witty comments? Why don't you get a life and get off my case?" And so on, in that vein. Be confident - or fake confidence - by speaking in a loud voice. This will also ensure that others hear what you're saying, so she'll get embarrassed.

If Mizz Mean persists in her stupid comments, go ahead and look her straight in the face and say, "I finally figured out why you keep saying this stuff... you're a total bimbo, and you actually think you're funny!" You could follow that up with, "I may be a rat girl, but at least I'm not a moron." Hopefully you won't have to resort to saying something this mean back. But if you do, she asked for it.

Keep up the counter-attack, every single time this girl says something mean, and say it loud and proud. Eventually, with any luck, she'll stop bugging you... even if that's to pick on somebody who isn't as bothersome to needle as you. I have a funny feeling that this bully will crumble when you stand up to her. If nothing else, you'll feel great that you are defending yourself, and that can help your confidence.

On that front, please don't let this mean girl affect your self-esteem. You're an awesome person, and it's important for you to know and accept that, whatever this girl (or anyone else) seems to think. Work on boosting your self-respect every day, because when you have it, nobody can make you feel bad. Like Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Wake up every morning, look in the mirror, smile and say, "It's going to be a good day".