TIRED OF THE TEASING

Dear Jellybean,

I'm a very easy crier, and it didn't help when some guys found out. I thoght this year of school wold be great. Then I got teased for being ugly and fat. I never thought I looked bad at all. But when I was teased I cried. Then, after that went on for a while, I went up to a group of people I thought were my friends. You know when you go up to somebody and realize they were just talking about you? That's what it felt like.

The next day, I was told a girl didn't want to be my friend anymore. That's what it eventually comes out like when nobody sticks up for you. Then I was told all my friends were ugly and fat too. I get mad if somebody talks about my friends, so I started blurting out mean things and I thretend a kid. That's when I relized we were still in school.

After a semester, I stared to get teased about being dum. I'm never thought I was dum, because I have realy good grades. Then they said they were smarter than me, But they didn't want to be the geek.

I just need to know, what I should do with a problem like this?
-Tired of being the Target

Dear HippieBeatle,

It sounds to me like there are a few things going on here. First, you're getting teased, and that never feels good. Second, you've got a lot of anger, and while it's natural to get mad about being called names, it's not the most constructive or healthy way to deal with the problem. And third, you're taking some comments way more seriously than they deserve.

It's really important to realize that you have the power to decide what you'll believe about yourself. If others call you names like "dumb", don't just say to yourself, "Oh, am I dumb? I didn't realize that." That really would be dumb! If you get good grades, you've got the proof on paper that you're not dumb - you're smart. So just because some immature or mean person makes a remark about your intelligence, you don't have to believe them. Instead, you should stand up to these people by showing them you're too confident to be affected by their words. You do this by saying something like, "That's not what my report card says" or "That just shows that you don't know anything about me."

When people call you names, a great way to deal, instead of yelling or making threats (which can get you kicked out of school), is to use humor. If you can make fun of the person back, they won't look like such a big shot in front of their friends. Plus you'll look like you can handle yourself, and like you weren't bothered by what they said, which takes the wind out of their sails.

Spend some time thinking up comebacks you can use, when someone calls you a name. You can use the ever-popular, "I can always lose weight, but you'll be stupid forever." Or poke fun at them right back, as in, "With eyebrows like those, I wouldn't be making fun of other people." You get the idea.

As for the crying, it's about getting a little bit tougher, and deciding you're not going to let childish people hurt you. I advise you to work hard on boosting your self-esteem, so that others' comments bounce off you, instead of sinking in. If you truly believe that you're great, nobody can make you feel inferior, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt. Make that your mantra, and make it your mission to get strong and proud of yourself, so nobody can hurt you anymore.