GIRLS MAKE FUN OF HER

Dear Jellybean,

I am so unhappy. There are these girls at school who make fun of me all the time. If I have a different opinion to them, or suggest an idea or something, they call me 'freak' or 'weirdo, and when I dont want to do something they done want to do, they call me 'boring'. Its not just once in a while, its everyday. They also play practical jokes on me, like put stuff in my locker. I have tried talking to my parents about it, but they just say I am being too sensative and I should deal with it. I tried talking to one of the girls in the group and she said: 'Im sorry but its so funny, you have to admit.'! I have tried not being friends with them, or stand up to them or walking away, but they say I am moody. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night because I am so upset. Please help me, I dont know what to do!
-Jenny, age 14

Dear Jenny,

You need to put on a stronger front. Even if they are making you feel awful, you MUST stop showing them that they are getting to you. Otherwise, they will continue to get what they are after - and that's seeing your reaction when they play their lame little tricks. They think it's "funny". So you have to take the "fun" out of it for them. You do this by not giving them the results they crave.

You’ve tried ignoring these girls, and you say you have stood up to them. But it's not about getting angry or whining. You need to speak your honest feelings, in a strong manner. You need to let them know that you're not going to let them beat you down, because you're way too smart - and strong - for that. This means using your brain - NOT your fists.

Next time one of these idiots calls you a name, look her in the eye and say something like, “Don’t EVER talk to me like that again!” Or simply, “Don’t call me that!” Let your face and voice show that you mean it. If it helps, picture Cruella De Ville or some other powerful character, but show total strength, even if you have to fake it.

If your tormenter says you are being "moody", don't let her get away with that. Tell her, "I'm not moody, I'm fed up. Why don't you get a life and find something else to do with your time." Or something like that.

Your other option is, to throw the teasing back in their faces. Some teasers think that putting other kids down makes them look cool in front of their crowd. Make them look like a fool by laughing at them and making it obvious they haven't gotten under your skin. Being ridiculed is not what they expect, and it could embarrass them into shutting up. For instance, if one of these girls calls you a weirdo, you could say something like, “At least I can think for myself. You're such a follower to your crowd.” Or just roll your eyes and say, “You seem to be obsessed with me. Maybe you should get some therapy for that.” Keep your comments light, and let them (and their friends) see that you think THEY are a big joke.