FRIEND'S MOM DOESN'T TRUST HER

Dear Jellybean,

Yesterday, I was at my friend's house when some of my guy friends came. They all put on music and danced and stuff, and it got really hot and i was very dizzy so i decided to lay down on her bed. I was half asleep and i noticed one of my guy friends was on the bed with me. I didnt mind because he was just on the bed and he wasnt doing anything sexual. I fell asleep when all of the sudden, my friends mom got in the room and saw us in the bed (my guy friend was actually IN the bed!!) and she told us to get out. I got out and she said that she was really dissapointed in me and that I am banned from her house. I got an IM from my friend saying that her mom isnt going to let me hang out with you anymore, and if she catches me with her, she will call my mom. I've been with my friend for SO many years. I would hate to lose a good friendship over a stupid incident. The problem is, her mom will not let me tell my story. She thinks I had SEX with my guy friend. I tried telling her the truth but she will not listen.My mom does not know about this, and I am worried that if she asks my friends mom if i can spend the night, her mom wil say "no" and she will tell what happend. I would get in DEEP trouble!! I really need help. I want to earn back the trust. Thank you jellybean!
-Trish

Dear Trish,

There's an old saying that the appearance of impropreity (wrongdoing) can be just as bad as impropriety itself... and it seems that's what you're dealing with. Even though you didn't do anything wrong, your judgement in lying down on a bad half asleep when a bunch of guys were in the room wasn't brilliant. You ended up looking like you were doing something wrong, and now you're being punished for it.

So what you can you do? First, you can obey your parents' rules and respect their feelings. Even though they seem unfair, if you go against any of their rules, they will just use that as proof that you're a "bad kid" and a "bad influence" on your friend, and you'll just make things worse for yourself.

If your friend's mom won't listen to you, you may have to ask for some help. Talk to your mom, and honestly explain everything that happened, including the conversations you've had with your friend's mom since the incident. Ask your mom if she will go with you to your friend's place, and talk to her mom together. If your friend's mom sees that your parents trust you, and are backing you up, she might be more willing to listen to your side of the story. At that time, you can ask what you can do to earn back her trust. Maybe she'd be willing to let you come over to her place, where she can supervise you and her daughter hanging out together. It may time to win her over, if you can at all, so be willing to play by her rules. Good luck.