MOM READ HER DIARY

Dear Jellybean,

OK, a couple of days ago my mom was looking for something in my room for my sister, she looked in my school bag and found my diary, so she read the last 3 pages. When I came home she told me we need to talk so she told me that she wasn't mad she was disappointed in what she read. I wrote that doing certain things with guys isn't a big deal to me. So we had a talk and I told her that now she's not going to trust me and she said she still does but I know that she doesnt.Also I told her that I don't want her to think that everytime I go out to my friends house that I'm doing things and she said I know your not. I just feel weird because now if I ask her to go to my friends house she's going to say no, or if I ask her to go out she's going to say no...how can I convince her to trust me again and to not make her think that her daughter is doing things with guys when I'm not?

Dear Writer,

Yikes, what a nightmare. It's great that you're not flipping out about your mom's invasion of your privacy. It happened, and it's not ideal, but you're definitely focusing on the right thing - that is, showing your mom that you're trustworthy when you're out of the house. My suggestion to you is, make it a regular habit to confide in your mom. When you come home from school and she asks how your day way, instead of just saying "Okay" and running up to your room, take some time to really talk to her. Fill her in on some of your friendship dramas, and just keep her informed about the little things going on in your life. If your mom feels like you're telling her everything, and she sees you're not up to anything shady from day-to-day, she'll be less likely to worry about you getting into trouble.

If your mom does start refusing to let you go places, have a mature talk with her about what happened. Tell her you know why she's worried about you (the whole diary thing), and explain why she shouldn't be. Talk about how you sometimes have certain feelings, but you're also smart enough not to follow through on them, because she raised you right. Keeping the lines of communication open with your mom is definitely the key to keeping your freedom. Good luck - I hope you and your mom can figure this one out together.