BEST FRIEND HAS CHANGED

Dear Jellybean,

Okay so my bff Riss has changed, a lot. I dont mind that at all but its not only her apperence its her attitude. Lately all she can talk about is herself and her boyfriend. its so ah-noying. she even lied to her mom saying she was going to the movies with me, just to go with her bf! why is she acting this way and who can i help her get back to "normal".
-Lone Star

Dear Lone Star,

This is a very common dilemma. Sometimes girls seem to lose their minds a bit when they get a boyfriend. Let your friend be in gaga-land for a month or so. She might get tired of acting like a boytoy and start craving girl-time again. But if this keeps up after a month, you should have a friendly talk with your friend.

It's very likely that your friend doesn't even realize how she is acting. She's so wrapped up in her new guy, I bet she hasn't thought twice about how she might be treating you differently. This doesn't mean she doesn't care for you, I'm sure she does. It just means she is full of love hormones and not thinking with all her brain cells.

When you can get 5 minutes alone with your friend, ask her if you can talk to her about something important. Start by telling her you're so happy for her to have such a great boyfriend - and try to mean it. This way, she won't think you're going to say something out of jealousy. Then tell her you know it's normal that she wants to spend lots of time with her new guy, but you're feeling a bit left out of her life lately.

Give her specific examples of times when she cut you off to take a phone call from her guy, or ditched you at school, or didn't ask about your life for 2 days in a row. Tell her you know she's really into her guy, and she isn't doing it on purpose, but you have feelings too and those things made you feel crappy. Then ask her if she can be a bit more considerate, and you promise to do the same if you ever get a boyfriend and she is single.

You can also tell her that you don't want to be used as an excuse, when she needs to lie to her mom, if that makes you uncomfortable. Tell her you support her relationship, but you don't want to get mixed up in any lying to parents, because you don't want to get in trouble with yours.

Be really sweet and nice when you say all this, but get your feelings across. She might be a bit defensive at first, but hopefully she will get where you are coming from. If she is a true friend, she will be sorry that she did anything to hurt you, and she will apologize and change her behavior.