FRIEND INTENSITY

Dear Jellybean,

okay, so i am a highschool student and have made many new friends. One of my new friends is always getting down on herself. She thinks she is to fat and doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. I always tell her she isn't fat. Which is the truth.... but its like wat i say goes in one ear and out the other. I love her like she is my sister and don;t want her to do something stupid to loose weight. Ive tried everything to help her, but it doesn't seem to work. I just dont know what to do anymore and im almost to the point of tears. And this isn't the only problem that i have had with her. Almost everyday at school she is the happiest person i know... besides the whole "i'm fat" thing. But today she was like way out of it. I txt her all the time and we have told each other everything. So after school as normal i texted her and asked her wat was going on with her cause i knew for a fact the she wasn't herself. She texted me back saying she is really emotional and needed time to herself. So i told her im there if she needed to talk and left her alone. I was really worried and about an hour later she texted me back and she said she is fine... but i know she isn't. I wanna help her so bad, but she isn't giving me the chance.... and i don't wanna push her to talk to me if she doesn;t want to. and i was just wondering if that is normal with us teenage girls. Because if i was her i would want to talk to one of my friends so badly. Please help me out with her! I need u now more then ever! I dont wanna lose her.

Dear Writer,

Whoa, there. You're being really intense with your friend. She is obviously feeling smothered and is trying to let you know it. It's great that you love your friend, and that you take her concerns and issues seriously. But getting so dramatic about it - being on the point of tears, texting her all the time, and pushing her to tell you everything - is way too much.

Your clingyness with your friend will end up pushing her away, and you will lose her, if you don't find a way to lighten up and allow your friend more emotional space. I recently gave advice to another girl, who wanted to stop being so clingy, and you can read that advice on this page of the Myjellybean.com site.