FRIEND IS BEING RUDE

Dear Jellybean,

I have this friend, who this year (grade nine) has recently begun acting so fake. She's obsessed over her looks and boys. Our three other friends all agree. Me and her are in the same health, gym and french class. At first, I thought it would be fun. But really, its not. She blows me off in gym class for guys, and acts stupid. She's so mean to me. But suddenly, she's all buddy buddy with me in french and health when she needs my help with her work. Its really begun to flick me off. Whenever I say something she would consider stupid, she would tell me to shut the hell up. Im sick and tired of her rude attitude towards me. Im not sure what I should do...

Dear Writer,

Being obsessed over looks and boys isn't necessarily fake. Some girls get really wrapped up in that stuff in their teens, and can hardly help it, since that's what is on their minds practically 24/7. I think accusing her of being fake is a bit harsh, especially if you're gossiping about it with your three other friends. If you don't like the way she's acting, the mature way to deal would be to talk to her one-on-one. Besides, you definitely need to talk to her about this habit of being nice when she needs your help, and not-so-nice otherwise.

Talk to your friend in private, and tell her what's been bugging you. You could tell her, "I feel like you ignore me in gym class if a guy is around, and it makes me feel pretty bad." If she laughs off your feelings, be honest and tell her, "It kind of seems like you don't want to be friends anymore. Is that true?"

If your friend asks for your help in class, don't go so far as to do her work for her. You can be helpful, but also try to put it back on her by saying things like, "I don't know, what you do think the answer is?" Or, "Do you want to hang out later and do homework together, so you can learn how to do this stuff?"

When your friend acts rudely to you, or tells you to shut up, you should say very firmly, "Don't talk to me like that" or something similar. She needs a wake-up call that you're not going to put up with being insulted. You can also say, "If you want me to help you with your work, you might want to actually treat me like a friend."