Dear Jellybean,
All of my friends have boyfriends and now its summer! I always get jealous when they talk to their boyfriends in front of me!What should I do or what CAN I do?
-Confused
Dear Confused,
It's natural to be jealous of your friends sometimes, especially if they have something that you want. But it's not healthy - or helpful - to dwell too much on what they have that you don't. It would be better to focus on what you do have that you can be grateful for - from a loving family, to great friends - and then make a plan to get what you want into your life.
First, think about why you want a boyfriend. Are you ready for love, or do you just want to go along with the crowd? Before you go chasing after any boys, make sure you really like them enough to spend time with them. Because I'll fill you in on something: Having a boyfriend is not always the best.
Your friends may only tell you the good stuff, but even if you're totally in love, being part of a couple can mean a lot of work and hassles, along with the positives. For instance, there's always worrying about what he thinks of you, the pressure to look perfect every day at school because you're going to see him, anxiety about the physical side of the relationship (is he pushing you too fast), wondering why he doesn't call you enough, the pain of trying to get along with his friends, and much more. (Remind yourself of all these things when you see your friends and their boyfriends - it will help!)
Also, if you hook up with a guy just be dating somebody, you might not really like him much - but there you are, stuck spending tons of time with him. Talk about bo-ring! Plus, if he likes you more than you like him, then you'll feel totally guilty for using him, just to have some arm candy. And you'll have to go through the pain of breaking up with him, which is a complete drag.
So wait until you really like someone a lot. When you find that guy, work on becoming friends with him first, before trying to take it romantic. That way, you'll know if he's fun to hang out with - and treats you nicely enough to deserve the title of your boyfriend - before you get all tied up in a relationship with him.
And also remember, having a boyfriend isn't the be-all, end-all of life! There is SO much more to keep you fascinated - and having lots of interests makes you more fascinating! So keep yourself busy doing all those other activities that exist - and trust that love will come along at the right time, when it's meant to be.
