FRIEND HAS CHANGED

Dear Jellybean,

Hey! I have a question about my friend, she changed from seventh to eighth grade. We were best friends from kindergarten, and now she spreads evil rumors about me, and tries to break me up w/ my new best friend, who by coincidence is her ex-bf (that really is coincidence). Anyway, she told everyone that I cheated on a major test just because I got a 94 and she got a 70. I NEVER CHEAT!!!! She also is hanging with a bad group of friends, people who don't really do much good. What can I do to make her go back to being her old self?

Dear Writer,

First of all, your friend is jealous of your mark on that test. That's why she said you cheated. She got a lower mark than you, and that makes her feel bad, so she decided to be mean and make you feel bad. Don't worry, I'm sure nobody believes what she's saying. People are smarter than you think, and they can usually see through lies like that. Besides, you know that you achieved that mark by studying hard - not cheating - and that's all that really matters.

Jealousy is also behind your friend trying to sabotage your friendship with her ex-bf. It probably drives you crazy that she couldn't make that relationship work, but somehow you're able to be friends with this person. Again, trust your new best friend to be smart and know you're the one who's telling the truth. I don't think your old friend's tactics are going to work.

As for making her go back to being her good old self, I don't know if that 's possible. Your friend is changing, and that does happen sometimes. Maybe you've changed too. It's definitely tough when you feel like someone that was so close to you is drifting away. But growing away from friends isn't uncommon, especially around this age.

You have a new best friend, and that's great. I think you should keep on hanging out with new friends and don't put too much hope in your old one. If your old friend chooses to hang with a bad crowd, that's too bad, but you can't do much about it. That's her choice. But you can also choose your own crowd, and it sounds to me like she probably won't be in it. Maybe someday she'll try to pick up the friendship with you again, and at that time you can decide if you still want it. Remember that friendship needs input and effort by both people. If your old friend doesn't work at being a good friend to you, no matter what you do, the friendship will crumble.