TELLING HER FRIENDS ABOUT HIM

Dear Jellybean,

There is this guy who has liked me for a long time and at first when he asked me out I didn't feel the same way about him. Recently we went on a school trip together and I got to see a different side of him and i honestly think I've fallen head over heels for him. We are going on a date to the movies this weekend. The only thing is I don't know how to tell my friends about it because they are really judgemental and think he's weird as they are always making jokes about him. I don't want to keep our relationship a secret because they are bound to find out anyway and I think they would prefer to hear it from me. Could you please help me with this. Thanks, by the way I love your site keep up the good work.
-Beth

Dear Beth,

You're right not to want to keep the relationship a secret. Do that and your guy will catch on that you're embarrassed to be seen dating him... and that could be enough to make him want to stop seeing you.

We all want to make our friends happy, and nobody likes to be teased, but you can't live your life to please other people. That's true in romance, and so many other areas of life.

I suggest you break the news to your friends by using some humor. Next time you're all hanging out, try saying something like, "Hey guys, I have some crazy news." When they ask what's up, ask them, "Who's the last guy you could ever imagine me dating?" That's a good way to break into the news that you are dating this guy.

When they freak out and say "why would you date him", you can tell them what you told me - that at first you thought like them, but recently got to see a different side of him, and realized he's a good person. Tell them it's a "book/cover" thing - his cover says weirdo, but his book is good readin'.

Be ready for some teasing - it's only natural that your friends will have a reaction. Try to take it in stride and laugh it off. Just say, "Hey, love is strange, you never know how it's going to come into your life, or in what package." If you seem happy, hopefully your friends will give you a break, and give the guy a chance.