STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

Dear Jellybean,

I have a huge problem! I have this friend that is being totally mean to some of my other friends. Lets call her Erin. We had an award ceremony at school the other day, and she just sat there with this scowl on her face whenever my other friend got an award. Afterwards, Erin said something really nasty to her about winning all the awards. She's also been really mean to some of my other friends and i have a problem with it. Now they're getting me involved because they want me to take sides. Honestly I know which side I want to take (my other friends side) but I don't want to start trouble with Erin. Basically all my friends are fighting and I'm stuck in the middle. Please help!
-FriendFight

Dear FriendFight,

Just because all your friends are fighting, doesn't mean you have to choose sides. But you do have to practice high-level diplomacy to avoid being drawn into the feud.

So talk to Erin. Let her know, if she doesn't already, that people are bugged by her recent behavior at the awards ceremony. Because I think the issue is that Erin is jealous of your other friend(s), and maybe insecure in herself, approach it like this. Tell Erin, "You're so together, so it's hard to get why you would want to bring someone else down." But if she reacts badly, back off. Tell her, "I don't want to get involved, and I'm not mad at you at all. I just want everyone to get along."

Talk to your other friends too. Tell them you get that Erin acted badly, but you really care about her as a friend, and think she might act like that because she's insecure. Suggest to your friends that they should give Erin another chance, because you know that deep down, she's a good person. But if they react badly to that, tell them, "I don't want to get involved, and I'm not mad at anybody. I just want everyone to get along."

It's tough to be the monkey in the middle, for sure. Hopefully you can manage this situation by employing tact, and buy time for yourself until the drama blows over. Good luck!