FRIEND IS ACTING JEALOUS

Dear Jellybean,

I'm having serious friend issues. I have 2 best friends, one's a guy, the other's a girl. They're both good friends with each other also. I just started realizing I have feelings for my guy friend. I think he likes me too. We hang out a lot and he calls me everyday. My other best friend is getting jealous. No matter how much time I spend with her, she still thinks I like him more. She got really angry at us on a school trip and wouldn't talk to either of us. We're not fighting anymore but she still drops hints that show she's jealous and feels left out. I include her in everything and call her twice a day and email her everyday! I don't know what else to do to get her to believe that I'm not ditching her and that she's my best friend! I also don't want my guy friend to think I'm ignoring him for her. I don't think he would but I've had to ignore him for her and hang up on him for her so she doesn't get mad. Help!! What do I do??
-2 Friends, 1 Me

Dear 2 Friends, 1 Me,

Your friend is being way too clingy. You call her twice a day and email her every day - what more could she want? I don't think ignoring your guy friend, and hanging up on him, is the right idea. You're letting your (girl) friend push you around, and that should stop.

I think you need to sit down with your (girl) friend, and have a heart-to-heart talk. Tell her you really love her, and she's your best friend, but you're feeling unhappy in your friendship lately because of all the pressure. Explain that you only have 24 hours in your day, and while you want to spend some of that time seeing and talking to her, you need to give some to other friends too, plus there's also your family and your own private time to fit in there.

If your friend gets hysterical, or accuses you of trying to ditch her, remain as calm as possible. Just keep telling her, as quietly and strongly as you can, "I love you, but I feel like things are too intense between us lately. Let's try to have more fun, and put less demands on each other." You can also reassure her by saying, "You're my best friend, and I promise I'm not going to ditch you. But you have to stop making me feel bad for having other friends, because that's not fair."

If your friend continues to try and control your time, and get jealous of any time you're not spending with her, I think it might be wise to give yourself a bit of space from her. I'm not saying to stop being friends, or to ignore her. But there is only so much clinginess a girl can take, and it could be the best thing if your friend started to understand that when she pushes you, it makes you feel unhappy and like not talking to her as much. For goodness sakes, don't let her bully you into messing up your relationship with your guy friend, just because it makes her feel threatened. She has to learn that you have the right to have more than one friend - and give you credit for being able to do that, without ditching your BFF.