FRIEND CALLS HER NAMES

Dear Jellybean,

I have a problem with my "friend." She constantly calls me "idiot", "slut", "fat", and "ugly." Not to sound conceited, but I know I am none of those; I get straight A's, I've only had one, well-chosen boyfriend of 3 and a half amazing years, I have a little more to love than other girls, but I'm not obese, and a lot of people (not just my parents) say that I'm pretty. This "friend" also trash-talks about me to her friends at school, and tells them the secrets that I've told her. One day, she told me that she was sick of her brother calling her names. I snapped and said, "How do you think I feel?" She simply said, "Well, I only call you those things because it's true." What can I do to make her stop calling me names and trash-talking me/telling my secrets? I've tried not going near her, and only talking to her when she talks to me, but she keeps calling me these things. It's really hard to stay away from her completely, because we live only a few houses apart, and she goes to and from school with me. Please help!
-Hurt

Dear Hurt,

This person is not your friend. She runs you down and is trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Worse, when you try to avoid her, she chases you down and continues to call you names.

I think you need to stand up for yourself, and let this girl know that you're done being used for target practice. If you two walk to school together (it's not clear from your letter), phone her up and tell her that you won't be walking to school with her anymore, because you don't enjoy the time you spend together. Let your folks know what you're doing too, and why, so they support you and can back you up if she starts to get more aggressive (she sounds kind of nutty).

If you ride the bus together, sit beside someone different from now on, and if she approaches you, tell her to leave you alone. If she calls you names, say in your very loudest and strongest voice, "Be quiet! I won't let you or anyone talk to me like that." When she keeps approaching you, or saying mean things, just say, "That's exactly why I don't want to be near you anymore - you are mean and rude and you're not my friend."

I know this will be hard for you, but you have to be strong. This person is an "emotional vampire" who wants to suck all the life from you, and is giving you nothing but misery in return. You deserve much better from your friendships, and it seems clear that it's time for this one to bite the dust.