STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

Dear Jellybean,

I'm having a problem with my friends. Well, I've had this problem since last year. I'm BFFs with this really nice girl, and people hate her for many reasons that I'm never going to know about. But when we're alone, she's nice, funny, can make you smile, and is a great friend to have. But, the problem is that I'm also friends with some of the "cool" girls, who absolutely hate my friend, but respect me for being her friend. They're nice to me when we're alone, but then they're mean and bossy when we're in public. I hate having to be in the middle of the arguments they have, and also hate having to pick sides... What should I do?
-Stuck In the Middle

Dear Stuck In the Middle,

You should not have to pick sides, but you also can't force people to be friends with someone, if they don't want to be. What you can do is, talk to your "sometimes mean" friends, and let them know that when they hurt your other friend, they're hurting you. Ask them to be nice to her, or at least polite, for the sake of your friendship with them. You can even phrase it like they're doing you a favour, and you owe them one.

As for the nice girl who people don't like, you say she's nice in private, but you don't say if she's rude around other people. Is this the case? If you can see your friend acting badly around others, or if you can think of a way she could change that would make her more accepted, you might want to (very gently) suggest this to her. After all, you seem to be doing fine socially, so maybe you can give your outcast friend some tips for getting along better with others.

I respect your decision to continue a friendship that other people don't get. Sometimes it takes a special person to see the goodness in someone not everyone "gets", and it sounds like you're that kind of person. Keep up the good attitude, and don't let social pressures make you dump a friend you truly care about.