SHE WASN'T INVITED TO THE PARTY

Dear Jellybean,

One of my friends is having a sleepover birthday party. I have been friends with her since the beginning of the year and I invite her to my house and she invites me over a lot. I don't sit with her at lunch but I am still close friends with her. A couple days ago everyone was talking about how she was having a sleepover party. I thought maybe my invitation got lost in the mail or she didn't know my address but it turned out that she wasn't inviting me. I told her how I felt and she said she could only invite eight people. I wonder why I wasn't one of those people. Should I be mad at her or should I just forget about it?

Dear Writer,

First of all, some praise for how you've handled this situation so far. I'm really impressed that you were direct, and told your friend nicely how you felt about not being invited. Good for you. So, now what?

Of course it hurts to not be invited to a party, especially when you consider the host a good friend. Is there anything that's happened in your friendship lately, that might have influenced your friend's decision? Maybe you don't like one of her other friends, for instance, and she didn't want there to be any drama at her birthday get-together.

You could always have one of your friends, who she's also friends with, talk to her and figure out why you weren't included in her birthday plans. Your friend will have to be pretty smooth about this though, or your party-having friend could end up thinking you're kind of stalker-ish.

Other than that, there's not much you can except for accepting that it's her party, and she chose the 8 people she feels closest to. On the other hand, maybe she wants to change crowds or meet new people, and this is her way of doing that. Honestly, hard as it is for me to point this out to you, it is a signal that she doesn't think of you as one of her closest friends. You can keep hanging out with her sometimes, but from now on you might want to put your eggs in another friendship basket, so to speak, and concentrate on getting close to people who are going to return your friendship in kind.