STUCK BETWEEN TWO DATING FRIENDS

Dear Jellybean,

I have these two friends, they're going out. So every once in a while, well, acualy alot, my friend S (lets just call her that :), and my friend M (again like i said), get into huge fights. Like just the other day they got into this fight because two of M's friends, said to break up with S on Valentine's Day. How messed up is that?! So anyways, M told me this and he told me not to tell S. But two seconds later S asked me to tell her what he said, so I lied to her and told her that he couldn't figure out what to get her. But later M told S but I'm not sure if shes mad at me or not. So the point is that I always get draged in the middle of the fight. So can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Dragged

Dear Dragged,

Yikes. You need to let both of your friends know, now and for good, that you aren't comfortable being dragged into the middle of their relationship disputes.

Here's how you handle that. Say "M" tells you not to tell S something. Just tell him, "If you don't want me to tell her, then don't tell me. I'm her friend and if you tell me something, it might get passed on." If he has a problem with that, just say, "Listen, I don't want to be in the middle of your relationship issues. Maybe you should just leave me out of it." Then change the subject, as in, "Hey, do you know where I can get a great cover for my iPod?" (Or whatever).

Similarly, you should also let "S" know that you're done playing monkey-in-the-middle. If she asks you what "M" told her, you could say, "You should ask him, you're the one who's dating him" or play it off like, "I don't know, he's always going on about something." If she pushes, you could either 'fess up and tell her (after all, you did warn "M"), or just say, "You know what, I hate being in the middle on this. Could you guys try not to use me as the go-between anymore?"

Good luck. Hopefully, if you're direct and nice about it, your friends will decide to deal with their relationship by themselves. After all, you have your own life to worry about!