DEPRESSED AFTER MOVING

Dear Jellybean,

I've been so depressed lately. I lived my whole life in New Jersey, and now when i'm 15 my parents decide to move to Puerto Rico.. Now i'm in 10th grade. I dont like school here, i dont have anyfriends, and everything its so different... I even thought about suicidal... i dont want to go to school here, i want to go back to the US with my friends... Can you help me.. i need some advice... what should i do?

Dear Writer,

Changing schools within a state or city is bad enough, but changing schools and moving to an entirely new country and culture must be very hard on you.

I know it all seems so big and hopeless right now. But the thing is, you CAN learn to fit in - and even like - your new school and the people in it. You just have to give it a chance. Of course it's going to be different from what you are used to, but some of those differences might just be amazing... but you have to be open-minded enough to explore them and find that out for yourself.

I would try to find out what your hobbies are (things you like) and then try to notice other people who like the same things. Check out what extracurricular activities are offered at your school and join a club or group that has the same interests as you. If your school has a guidance counseling department, I also suggest that you talk to a counselor and find out if there is a group at your school for new students.

Another tip for making new friends: Don't be afraid to speak up and let people know who you really are. People will judge you based on your "difference" if they don't know you. So speak up and let people know the real facts about you! Let them see that you are a good, nice, smart person and fun to be around. People have a 'fear of the unknown' - after all YOU do, right? So don't let them. Make yourself known.

I have to tell you, I am very concerned that you mention thoughts of suicide. Thoughts of wanting to go back to the U.S. are normal and to be expected until you get used to things in your new home. But wanting to kill yourself is NOT normal. Are you keeping these thoughts all to yourself? That can be VERY dangerous. You HAVE to tell your parents whenever you are having a problem or suicidal thoughts. That is what having a family is there for. To give you support and help you in times of needs.

If you feel like you can't talk to your folks, again talk to a guidance counselor at school. But you have to take the first step by telling someone about your problem.

I hope that in short time, you will find that there are wonderful things to be discovered in your new town, and wonderful people to befriend at your school. Just try a little each day to say hello to someone new and if you put your heart into it soon you'll have a whole new bunch of friends.