Dear Jellybean,
For the last couple of years I'd liked this guy in my class. We've been friends since elementary school, but not really close friends. We like a lot of the same things, both a little shy. Anyway, this year we both found out that we liked each other and he asked me out. The only problem is, now everything is awkward because ever since we admitted we liked each other he's started acting different and nervous. It's kind of cute, but it's making me nervous too! I've never had a BF before and I'd like to get closer to him, but we're both not very socially outgoing. This might seem like a strange question, but how do I get him to relax and connect with me and vise versa?
-Annika
Dear Annika,
I'll admit it, that is pretty cute - and even to be expected. If you're both a bit shy, it's easy to let your nerves get to you and get all tongue-tied around each other, even though you're friends and you've both admitted you like each other too.
You're probably being too hard on yourself, actually. The key to making things feel more comfortable is to loosen up - which of course, is much easier said than done. Maybe it would help if you try to pretend he's just another one of your close friends, instead of worrying about acting like girlfriend and boyfriend. Don't wory about saying or doing the right thing, just be yourself and let the true you shine out. After all, he obviously he likes you, or he wouldn't be going out with you.
If the awkwardness is really bad, maybe it would make it easier to hang out with other people for a while, when you're hanging out with him. Going out in groups will help take the pressure off you, since with a bunch of people around, there's less worrying about keeping the conversation going, having fun, or saying the exact right thing all the time. Plus, it's easier to goof around and act like yourself when you're in a group of friends.
So why not invite him bowling or roller skating with some girl and guy friends, and let the relaxation begin. As you two get more comfortable hanging with each other, you'll hopefully gain more confidence to go it as a twosome.
