STILL INTO HER EX

Dear Jellybean,

Last year in February, I broke up with my boyfriend of six months. At first I was fine with it but now I can’t get him out of my head. I know it seems kind of pathetic but after 7 months I’m still into him. However, the thing that bothers me the most is in the summer he asked me to hang out several times and we perfectly fine just being ourselves with each other. He even admitted to me he still liked me too! Now since school started he won’t talk to me or even go near me.. and we’re in the same class!!!! I don’t know if I should tell him how I feel. What should I do?
-Confuzzled

Dear Confuzzled,

Don't tell him how you feel. He already knows. Even if you don't think he does, of course he does. The point is, if he's not talking to you or going near you, he has a reason. Maybe he doesn't like you anymore (he tried to be friends but then lost interest), or maybe he does like you (so it's easier to ignore you, so he can get over you). Either way, it doesn't sound like a friendship is in the cards, at least for the time being.

Getting over an ex-boyfriend can be so difficult - but you have to get over him, to get into the next part of your life. There could be another, way better guy for you walking around. You could miss him, if you're so busy focusing on the past.

Think for a minute about what you might tell a friend, who was still obsessing over someone she dated 7 months ago. Wouldn't you say she feels bad now, but the breakup was meant to be? That is was probably for the best? That you know something good will come out of it? That it's better it happened now rather than later down the road? Give yourself that advice now, and listen, because it's all true - and it will help you to move on.

The memories of the actual relationship have probably faded, but there was a real reason you broke up with your boyfriend. Remember what that was, and write it down if necessary, along with all the flaws your boyfriend had that ultimately made you want to leave him. Think about what qualities your boyfriend had that you want in future boyfriends, and what ones you don't. Realize that is valuable information for your future happiness. Then start looking for those things - but in a NEW person.

Seven months is a long time to waste on someone who wasn't right for you, don't you think? Maybe it's time to give love - a new love, with someone else - a chance. Yes, for the next while you will definitely be comparing every new guy to your ex, and of course you assume they won't match up to what you had with him. But you might be surprised. You might realize that the universe works in strange ways. Sometimes a relationship ends so that an even better one can come into your life. If you trust that your life has meaning and a purpose, trust that there is a reason why your relationship had to finish, and that you were meant to get over it and move on.