Dear Jellybean,
So, my boyfriend.. he's been with me for a while now. and he openly admitted that he liked one of my friends.. she used to be one of my best friends, but we kinda floated apart. but now what i can't stand is them being friends, but i know that he wouldn't do anything. i trust him.. but not her. i'm really confused and i really love him, i don't wanna break up with him.. what do i do?
-Princess Sarah
Dear Princess Sarah,
If you don't trust her, she's not your friend. End of story. What good is a friend who you can't trust?
I do have to question your logic, though. If you know your boyfriend wouldn't do anything, there's no need to worry. Even if your friend throws herself at your boyfriend, you can be secure knowing that you trust him not to reciprocate.
So here's my question to you. Do you really trust your boyfriend? Or do you just WANT to trust him? Clearly, it really bothers you that your friend and your boyfriend are hanging out together sometimes without you there. And be honest - your boyfriend's friendship with this girl is making it hard for you to "just trust him." Especially after he admitted to liking her!
I think it would be a really good idea for you to talk to your boyfriend about this. You need to let him know how you are feeling and what exactly it is that he's doing that makes you uncomfortable or jealous. Ask him to consider how he would feel if you were doing the same thing, with his best friend - especially if you admitted to "liking" his BFF.
Watch to see if he is respecting your feelings. If he blows off your concerns and says you just need to stop worrying, then maybe you should consider moving on from this relationship. I know it’s hard to think about, but your boyfriend shares at least part of the blame for creating this situation, and he needs to take responsibility if this problem is to be fixed.
When you’re thinking about your relationship, keep in mind that it should not be based around jealousy, feelings of frustration and loneliness, or unhappiness. The ultimate goal is that it be fun and fulfilling. If your relationship is more pain than pleasure, it could be time to end it. Sometimes this relationship stuff can be hard to deal with alone. You may want to talk to a trusted friend about it or even a parent, teacher or a guidance counselor about how you are feeling.
